My darling friend Sandee over at Comedy+ challenged me to play the Love and Hate MEME a while ago. I´m so sorry I´m way behind, but I´m trying to catch up. On a day like today I´m in the perfect mood to play this tiny game. The post I planned for today didn´t… uhm, let´s say “didn´t work” thanks to Blogger. No, nooooo… the post didn´t vanish into thin air. It´s worse.

I wanted to introduce my new blog to you… and the whole blog… *POOF* is gone. Blogger, thanks for the big fat bX-uxu3fu …

I know… your engineers will investigate… someday =(

But something bad always mostly causes something good. So here we go:

1. I love to eat: Cesar´s salad, Sushi (currently forbidden), Cheesecake, Vitello Tonnato, chocolate, fruit salad, … well *gorge* I´m pregnant… *OffToTheFridge* and always hungry =)
2. I hate to eat: Carrots. I´ve had enough for at least 2 lifetimes. My mom feeded me so many carrots I looked a bit yellow when I was a little one.
3. I love to go: shopping, especially shoes. Surprising, eh?
4. I hate to go: outside without my morning coffee
5. I love it when: Luis comes over for additional cuddling
6. I hate it when: My new blog is gone
7. I love to see: ultrasound pics of Hamster 2.0
8. I hate to see: an empty coffee box
9. I love to hear: “Ich liebe Dich, Traumfrau” (I love you, dream girl)
10. I hate to hear: “This blog is currently inavailable. Blogger engineers are investigating the problem.”

I tag… everyone who likes to play - please let me know when you´ve posted so I can visit =)

And now…
… our moment of Homer J.:

Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.

recent coffee breaks: About Coffee, Candles and the Cookie Monster

To the left you can see a picture I´ve snapped of our Arcor internet connection. We´re glad to give a home to this lame snail. The current speed is 56k. It nearly feels like a wild ride in comparison to the connection during the last days. Connection? Oh, wait… we didn´t have any connection. However - the lady on the so called “hotline” told me they are working busily to get us back to the promised (and payed) broadband speed. Hopefully they are faster than the little snail.

Just in case you´ve missed me or my entries for the “Scavenger Hunt: Curves”, “Manic Monday: Track” and “Heads Or Tails?: Explore” - those entries are burried at least six feet under snail slime. I promise to play along next week and I´ll do my very best to catch up with the “5 Best Nights”, “Desktop MEME Redux”, “Jezebel MEME” and another cute little award I recieved.

I also planned to post the birthday cake on time, but the little snail… you know. However -
From snails to crumpets:

Happy (belated) Birthday, Mar! Our Cyber Cruise buddy turned 250 on Oct 7th (that´s what her profile told me *wink*). Please visit her at maremagnum and wish her a very happy belated birthday - she´s one-of-a-kind! Thank you!

Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag, Mar! Wir wünschen Dir von Herzen alles Liebe und Gute - auf die nächsten 250! =)

Have a great day,

And now…
… our moment of Homer J.:

[Santa’s Little Helper goes off running with George Bush, leaving Homer all alone]
Homer: I guess you might say he’s barking up the wrong Bush.
Homer’s Brain: There it is, Homer. The cleverest thing you’ll ever say and nobody heard it.
Homer: D’oh.

… in the face of almost unbearable stress

Welcome to Manic Monday Edition #15:

SURVIVE

Did you ever wake up in the morning thinking everything is going to be relaxed? And then you came to the sudden realization:”Wait, I´m going to do all of that? In one week? This week? *shriiiiiek*”

You know how you have those days (or maybe weeks, months or years) that just seem to be loaded with stress? I know: It´s all relative - one person´s stress is another person´s holiday.

How do you survive a stress storm? Do you have any ultimate plans how to cope when everything hits you at once?

When my life somehow has gotten out of control, like now, and stress has its grip on me I try to break the grip of stress - by providing some time off and using different anti-stress techniques

How to survive almost unbearable stress:

1.) Plan an escape. Take a few hours off and do the most dramatically easy but fun thing you can think of. Go see a matinee downtown, have a fantastic lunch, shop, browse, and walk. Be as indulgent as you can stand, and drag as many of your friends along with you.

2.) Laugh. Whatever it is you find funny, bring more of it into your life. Whether it´s certain people, films, tv shows, plays, books. Choose to laugh -

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”
(Bill Cosby)

3.) Scream. I do believe in primal screams. I always feel better after I´ve yelled at the top of my lungs for no particular reason, doubly so if I´m pissed off about something. Practice different screams, such as yelling ordinary words (”Coffee mug!!!” - “Bratwurst!!!” - “Apple juice!!!”) vs. generic scream sounds (”Aaarrrrgggh!”). Advanced stage of screaming: Get friends and co-workers to participate if you can.
But even if you scream alone, and you have to do it into a pillow or underwater to not upset the neighbors, do it anyway. You´ll feel better, I promise.

4.) Fun time. How much time per day do you do stuff purely for fun? Just because you like it and for no other reason? Why isn´t this number larger? What is more important than fun and happiness over the course of a lifetime? Allow yourself fun, no matter how stressed you are.

5.) Sleep & Exercise. Unfortunately, our minds are connected to our bodies, and if we treat our bodies poorly, well, our minds kind of get pissed off. I´ve found that if I´m not getting enough exercise, I´m about at least half as useful to the world than otherwise. Start taking a walk every day. Go swimming. Have more (or better) sex. Free up your body, and your mind will follow.

6.) Bunk. Get in the car, pick a direction, and drive. Grab friends, or not. Bring food, or not. Play music really loud, or just roll down the windows, and stick your head out (*psst* This is a good time to scream).

I´m not sure about how I´m going to make it, but by this time one week from today I will be marveling at all I accomplished - hopefully. Right now, I´m wondering how I’m going to do it. I will take my “How to survive“-guide to my heart and (I hope) I will survive. Please keep your fingers crossed for me ;)

You are that <———-> closed to survive my survival post. Are you ready to identify these random “Survive” lyrics?

(1) After of all of the darkness and sadness/Soon comes happiness/If I surround my self with positive things/I´ll gain prosperity
(2) You alone across the floor/You and me and nothing more/You´re the great mistake I never made/I never lied to you, I hated when you lied/But I´ll survive your naked eyes

(3) Some people put the best outside/Some people keep the best inside/Some people can´t stand up strong/Some people won´t wait for long.

(4) I’ll never be an angel/I’ll never be a saint it’s true/I’m too busy surviving/Whether it’s heaven or hell/I’m gonna be living to tell

(5) And so you’re back from outer space/I just walked in to find you here, with that sad look upon your face/I should have changed that stupid lock/I should have made you leave your key/If I had known for just one second you’d be back to bother me

Oooops, I reneged on my promise to myself not to post anything about this song today… the reason is it evokes some “”strange memories. But I´ve chosen (5) especially for Mo, my wonderful friend and brilliant force behind Manic Monday. Everything´s gonna be alright, my friend! You´re a survivor! =)

Now, whole Blogosphere, let´s screeeeeam! 3-2-1:
“Braaaaaatwuuuuurst!!!”

xoXOxo,
my dear readers and survivors of this special “How to survive“-post!

And now…

… our moment of Homer J.:

Homer: Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Manic Monday
survive
lyrics
The Simpsons

you want to say out LOUD but don´t have the heart to…

Say it.
Just say it.
Don´t swallow…
Come on… swear like a trooper!
I know you want to.
You know you want to.
So do I.

P.M. again!
Stop telling me personal details I don´t wanna know about you.
Just because you’re on doesn’t mean you don’t shower. Pig. Wash your fucking hair because I can smell it twenty feet away. Burnt tofu is not a good smell, and that’s what you smell like right now. Soap. Read about it. Use it.

My eyes…
Oh my ever-lovin’ God! Lady… are you nuts? I know this is a locker room and such… but are you seriously walking around here completely naked with nothing but Sport shoes on?
Gross.
And not only are you prancing around naked, with your pale white ass blinding the hell out of me, but you’re anorexic at best… seriously… I can see your organs. The last place you need to be right now is the gym.
*Ew* Put some clothes on, would ya… Christ!

Bartender @Peppino Bar
Anybody got some Altoids? Your breath smells like wet dog and vinegar. Stop talking to me right now. I mean it.. quit it and go suck down a pack of tic-tacs or something… Jesus! Unbelievable you told us every gastronome is a problem drinker… and you told us HOW you tasted our cocktails with your malicious tongue before serving them. That´s just about the limit! I still want to throw up in a second!

Shut UP, Weather Man!
Oh, it’s cold outside? Really? And, I’m supposed to be surprised about that because it’s fucking NOVEMBER and it’s always freezing cold in this area of the country in November? Dickwads.
People, it’s winter. And in Germany it’s ALWAYS UNDER 10 DEGREES IN NOVEMBER.
ALWAYS.
Seriously, it’s always fucking cold and fucking humid. ALL THE TIME in November. EVERY YEAR. In Germany. Which is where you are reporting this “news” like it’s the fucking Second Coming.
Why is this news?
Stop it. Just stop it.

Subway´s
Oh for Christ’s sake! No you did not just stand in this line in-front of me for 20 minutes, get to the front and you STILL don’t know what you’re gonna order? Give me a freakin’ break! You’re ridiculous. Stop staring at the god-damn menu and saying the word “um”… you should have been doing that 8 people ago. Just get out of my way, would ya? I knew what I wanted before I even got here. And get off your cell phone while you’re ordering. That’s just rude and clearly you’re pissing the guy off… I hope he spits in your food.
Bitch.

Change the sign, trucker!
I know what you’re thinking: “Eighty isn’t slow. That Slow Traffic Keep Right sign can’t be for me.”
The problem is that the car in your mirror (mine) is doing 120.
Maybe the sign would be effective if it read “If The Car Behind You Fills Your Mirrors, Move The Fuck Over!”

Illitera(xXx)y and YOU
Are you fucking kidding me? It’s not eXpresso. Please tell me where you see the letter “X” anywhere in that word. Idiot.
Oh, and P.S.: 1984 called. They want their leggings and comic-shirts back.

Hole of an ASS
You, sir, are an asshole. You’re officially on my shit-list… you and your futurity-specs…
If you try THIS again I’m going to kick your short, bald, fat little ass so hard that you’ll be shitting out my shoe for a week. Seriously. For real… you’ve pissed me off.

Driver´s license
I guess you won your´s in a lottery. Give it back! You will never learn how to drive… because I´m sure this is too much to handle for your tiny little brain, fuckface…
Jesus may save and God may be your co-pilot, but if I ever see you on the road again, cutting people off like you did us, I will nail you to your own cross, I swear.
Oh, and you know… nice way to pick your nose at that red light, look at it, and then slide your finger into your mouth. Don’t think I didn’t see that. Asshole.

*Phew* The internal freak magnet hidden in my body somewhere is still there… I really need to cut it of!


Smoothies to all the others,

And now…
… our moment of Homer J.:

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?